kiransingh:

the only domestic instinct my parents have managed to pass on to me is the tendency to hoard multiple plastic bags in another plastic bag despite the fact that I will probably never need this many plastic bags in my adult life

kittenpatches:

If I ever get pregnant I think this is how I will break the news

kittenpatches:

If I ever get pregnant I think this is how I will break the news

Meryl Streep pulling weeds (via raffaellacarra)

*SHOTS FIRED*
*AIR HORNS*

(via bigsadbaby)

I would like Martin Scorsese to be interested in a female character once in a while, but I don’t know if I’ll live that long.

Smoking a bowl with a friend. Friend’s dad comes over to check on him. 

x

Bunkbeds Day!

girlsareprettyforever:

It’s your first visit to your daughter’s new house with her new husband and no dad could be happier than you. They take you from room to room. The living room, the kitchen, the spare room that they say with a giggle will one day be a nursery. Then they show you their bedroom.

"Thought the other…

dealanexmachina:

miketysonismahomegurl:

has anyone posted this yet because this is pure gold

Thank you, Matilda.

dealanexmachina:

miketysonismahomegurl:

has anyone posted this yet because this is pure gold

Thank you, Matilda.

dealanexmachina:

miketysonismahomegurl:

has anyone posted this yet because this is pure gold

Thank you, Matilda.

pj-quills:

flatbear:

buckkybrnes:

sherlocksdemonhuntingtimelord:

dragonofthesky:

lasswithalaptop:

johnkatier:

I”M A FUCKING RAIN GIRAFFE I SOUND LIKE THE MOST UN-MAJESTIC ANIMAL IN EXISTENCE

ice bear! my elemental spirit companion is endangered :(

Wind Ox. Somehow this seems like more of an insult :l

Shadow bear sounds like a stupid spy name

fIRE SHEEP???? 

FUCKING 

 

I’m moon mouse, and my boss is shadow dear. HOT NEW CRIMEFIGHTING DUO.

I’m a Rain Eel.

A rain eel. I think I’m winning this loser parade.

…..lightning mouse. My spirit animal is LITERALLY PIKACHU.

pj-quills:

flatbear:

buckkybrnes:

sherlocksdemonhuntingtimelord:

dragonofthesky:

lasswithalaptop:

johnkatier:

I”M A FUCKING RAIN GIRAFFE I SOUND LIKE THE MOST UN-MAJESTIC ANIMAL IN EXISTENCE

ice bear! my elemental spirit companion is endangered :(

Wind Ox. Somehow this seems like more of an insult :l

Shadow bear sounds like a stupid spy name

fIRE SHEEP???? 

FUCKING 

 

I’m moon mouse, and my boss is shadow dear. HOT NEW CRIMEFIGHTING DUO.

I’m a Rain Eel.

A rain eel. I think I’m winning this loser parade.

…..lightning mouse. My spirit animal is LITERALLY PIKACHU.

frankink:

kylajaykay:

mamayuuma:

"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like yours did

i’m just going to reblog this over and over again until i give myself carpal tunnel

of love

Rescuing you, of course.